Violin fetishists

So I’ve been trying to diversify my CV a bit, in case the whole “strangler” thing doesn’t work out – there’s only so long this cultural acceptance of choking can last, violent men have only been tolerated and supported for a relatively short time (written records only go back so far, you know). I thought I’d turn my hand to a classic shooting! The target this time was an arms dealer with a taste for German opera, so I thought I’d off him at a performance when he wouldn’t be guarded. Plus it gave me an excuse to dress up and visit Covent Garden! ^_^
Sadly, bigotry and prejudice against violent men reared its ugly head once again. I arrived at the venue having incapacitated the second violinist and stashed my suppressed SMG in his/her/zar case, and the security lady must’ve noticed I wasn’t with the orchestra and said “Could I take a look in your case, sir?”
Well, I was FURIOUS! How dare this nasty cunt question what’s in my case and my right to be there? So I replied, as calmly as I could, “Actually, it shouldn’t matter what’s in my violin case. I’ve told you I’m a violinist, and by doubting my identity, you are reducing us to our equipment. You are a nasty violin fetishist, and on the wrong side of history.”
That shut her up! ^_^ Apparently the daft bitch was checking for contraband and weapons, so I don’t see the problem: sure, guns CAN be used as weapons, but they’re also used in target shooting! They’re sports equipment, and just as valid as a musical instrument.
But yah, I iced that motherfucker, made ten grand and got to see the first act of Die Fledermaus free of charge, so overall I feel quite positive about the experience