chicken-thot-pie:

official-liberty-prime:

chicken-thot-pie:

official-liberty-prime:

pain-and-missouri:

official-liberty-prime:

chicken-thot-pie:

pain-and-missouri:

pain-and-missouri:

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

“Um hey guys. I’ve been hit pretty hard with financial difficulty lately. I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider commissioning me.”

I will NOT kill:

-children

-people with young children

-top world leaders

-elderly people for inheritance

-pets

I will discount hits placed on:

-furries

-assholes

-your bosses

What if the world leader really deserves it though

I don’t think it’s a question of morals, more a fact that if you kill the leader of like Russia, there’s going to be a whole heck of a lot of people looking for you

Yea but what if we’re talking about someone like Trudeau

How is he a top world leader

Ok fair, who DOES count as a top leader then, besides Trump, Putin, and whoever the fuck is in charge in China now

You mean Mao Zedong?

Idk man just leaders of all the major powers

@stranglewankhitman

@machokerr um, how dare you, this sounds NOTHING LIKE me and is problematic in the extreme O_O

If you refuse to be uncomfortable at having fascists, conservatives and Nazis on your side, you need to take a good long look in the mirror.

That’s being a little mean to fascists, isn’t it? My colleague Dmitry’s cousin Rezan is involved in a few nationalist paramilitary brigades back in Russia, and he’s a perfectly nice man. He’s done gunrunning for Dmitry and myself and has always been on time with his deliveries and very polite.

He wholly rejects feminism of all kinds and is hoping to get himself a “tradwife” to do the cooking, cleaning and childcare for him when he eventually quits this game and settles down. He believes the rightful place of a woman in the law is the bearer of the idea of beauty and as the keeper of the home.

Now, I can’t say I’m of the same opinion as him (we agree to disagree on a lot of issues ^_^;;), but I do know he’d be jolly miffed to hear somebody call him a radical feminist. I won’t tell him you said that, because misrepresenting his views could really hurt his feelings!

even if a cis lesbian has a preference for vagina (tastewise maybe, or doesn’t like things up herself idk) don’t mean she can’t date a trans woman. like sex doesn’t have to be P-in-V, she could eat ass, she could peg her trans girlfriend, she could just get her vagina eaten while the girlfriend gets herself off, ….. cis lesbians are so uncreative they’re like the straight white boys of the lgbt community

gaykarathrace:

stranglewankhitman:

gaylor-moon:

HAHAHA OMG thank you so much for thisx aww hahaha yesss. I get so tired of rehashing the same arguments day after day, thank you for your on point message
😙😙💓💖💕💖💓💕💙

I get the point you’re making, and it’s a really valid message. But speaking as a straight white boy (well, I’m 35 now, but I spent much of my life as a boy), this is a bit exclusionary. There’s no need to insult us by comparing us to cis l*sb**ns. I’ve actually had very similar arguments trying to convince more women to be open to dating me!

I think I’m quite creative in the bedroom – sex doesn’t just have to be P-in-V, after all! Why, the last time I had sex (which was far too long ago, I’m sorry to say) I lit some candles and watched them burn while my partner gave me a hand-shandy. She left halfway through (rude!) when she noticed I was paying more attention to those flickering, beguiling flames than to her. She was wittering on about me “not considering [her] needs and desires” etc., you know, the usual whiny stuff. Pre-menstrual tension, I expect.

But I finished myself off, did a line and settled down with the London Evening Standard and a G&T. All in all, it was a very nice evening, I thought.

At first I didn’t realize you were trolling and I was just ???!!!?

I’m sorry, you were “???!!!?” at first? Well, I hope that, having thought about it, now you understand and sympathise with my plight as a chap with a somewhat alternative, fluid identity having to navigate women’s discriminatory dating preferences and boundaries.

As I say, I‘ve discussed different aspects of this topic before. See my “dating preferences” tag for more details! ^_^

even if a cis lesbian has a preference for vagina (tastewise maybe, or doesn’t like things up herself idk) don’t mean she can’t date a trans woman. like sex doesn’t have to be P-in-V, she could eat ass, she could peg her trans girlfriend, she could just get her vagina eaten while the girlfriend gets herself off, ….. cis lesbians are so uncreative they’re like the straight white boys of the lgbt community

gaylor-moon:

HAHAHA OMG thank you so much for thisx aww hahaha yesss. I get so tired of rehashing the same arguments day after day, thank you for your on point message
😙😙💓💖💕💖💓💕💙

I get the point you’re making, and it’s a really valid message. But speaking as a straight white boy (well, I’m 35 now, but I spent much of my life as a boy), this is a bit exclusionary. There’s no need to insult us by comparing us to cis l*sb**ns. I’ve actually had very similar arguments trying to convince more women to be open to dating me!

I think I’m quite creative in the bedroom – sex doesn’t just have to be P-in-V, after all! Why, the last time I had sex (which was far too long ago, I’m sorry to say) I lit some candles and watched them burn while my partner gave me a hand-shandy. She left halfway through (rude!) when she noticed I was paying more attention to those flickering, beguiling flames than to her. She was wittering on about me “not considering [her] needs and desires” etc., you know, the usual whiny stuff. Pre-menstrual tension, I expect.

But I finished myself off, did a line and settled down with the London Evening Standard and a G&T. All in all, it was a very nice evening, I thought.

Scenes and Aftercare

Hey, this is Madison, Gaspar’s buddy from the US embassy. I don’t really do social media except for psyops, but I thought I should give Gaspar’s followers an update on his situation. (When he’s feeling better, I’ll have to talk to him about infosec, his BlackBerry was super easy to crack!)

Gaspar came over yesterday and was all like, “I’ve been ever so bad. I quoted something from a problematic source that gives a platform to TERFs. Could you help me do penance for my crime? I heard you’ve been wanting to practise your waterboarding techniques.”
I was like, “Honey, this isn’t like you, you don’t even apologise for killing people.”
and he was like, “No, this is much worse!”

So I was like, “okay”, we had a little chat about safewords and stuff, and I set up the board, strapped him down, put a bag over his head, tilted him back and started pouring. He was totally fine at the time; he was thrashing around a bit and making a weird gurgling noise, but he didn’t say the safeword (”Baudrillard”). Or at least I don’t think he did, his mouth was full of wet cloth so IDK. He was really getting into the part, he did a super great job of acting like he was being tortured, so I got a lot of practice in!

After about a minute thirty he went quiet, so I took the bag off him and he was freaking out. I don’t get it, it was a totally fake scene, what’s his problem? I made it clear to him beforehand it was SIMULATED drowning, he wasn’t really going to die. It’s just a fantasy! I guess English guys are more prudish about that kind of thing?

Anyway, he’s had a lot of aftercare. I gave him a hug (he was clinging to my arm so I kinda had to), dried him off and called him a cab, so he should be fine. But I’ll tell you guys the same thing I told Dmitry and Big Dave: it was quite an intense scene, so he might take a couple of days to be back to his old self again. It’s totally normal, so don’t worry about it. He should be back on Tumblr soon!

Aid workers should be allowed to hire mercenaries; to stop them would infringe their civil liberties

stranglewankhitman:

Of course one can’t condone paying for hits (it’s not for everyone, folx). But one just cannot infringe on people’s civil liberties, and it would be impractical to think we could enforce a total ban.

Besides, have you ever thought about how hard it must be to sustain civilised values, when you’re in a disaster zone, in an uncivilised country? Overall, you should respect the people who go in, where most fear to tread.

I went on a volun-tourism trip to Hiati (sp?) on my gap year, as a matter of fact. And yes, I did work with some peoplx employed in the violence industry. So I’m actually qualified to comment on the situation.

Me on my gap year.

When you’re in an uncivilised dump overseas, you do tend to give in to your baser instincts. When in Rome, and all that.
(Well, the contract killing trade is illegal over there, but you know what I mean: lots of people do it anyway, so the morality of it is actually highly subjective.) And I did loads of charity work, I even gave the natives a PowerPoint presentation and everything, which more than makes up for it.

So, yeah, I met up with some local gangs, gave them some food and medicines in exchange for a little go with their tech, sharing some tips, no harm done.

Some of them seemed a little young – you hear a lot of moralising about “child soldiers” – but there’s no way to be sure they were children, especially since the gangs had taken all their identity documents. In my opinion, it’s actually a good thing for kids to be proactive about their careers and get some work experience. And, as I always say: wet work is work! ^_^

OKAY SOME OF YAL’L SKERFs OUT THERE HAVE BEEN REALLY MEAN TO ME ABOUT THIS

I took this selfie earlier to prove that ya’ll actually made me cry. And that’s a very bloody big deal, because when I was a young man my psychiatrist told me I didn’t appear to display any emotions beyond rage at narcissistic injury.

Why do you hate murder workers so much that you would see our whole industry shut down and our clients punished, and those of us who actually CHOSE this career have to get different jobs? Way to deny the agency of child soldiers. In many ways that’s a much worse thing to do.

Well, I hope you’re proud of yourselves. 😡

Aid workers should be allowed to hire mercenaries; to stop them would infringe their civil liberties

Of course one can’t condone paying for hits (it’s not for everyone, folx). But one just cannot infringe on people’s civil liberties, and it would be impractical to think we could enforce a total ban.

Besides, have you ever thought about how hard it must be to sustain civilised values, when you’re in a disaster zone, in an uncivilised country? Overall, you should respect the people who go in, where most fear to tread.

I went on a volun-tourism trip to Hiati (sp?) on my gap year, as a matter of fact. And yes, I did work with some peoplx employed in the violence industry. So I’m actually qualified to comment on the situation.

Me on my gap year.

When you’re in an uncivilised dump overseas, you do tend to give in to your baser instincts. When in Rome, and all that.
(Well, the contract killing trade is illegal over there, but you know what I mean: lots of people do it anyway, so the morality of it is actually highly subjective.) And I did loads of charity work, I even gave the natives a PowerPoint presentation and everything, which more than makes up for it.

So, yeah, I met up with some local gangs, gave them some food and medicines in exchange for a little go with their tech, sharing some tips, no harm done.

Some of them seemed a little young – you hear a lot of moralising about “child soldiers” – but there’s no way to be sure they were children, especially since the gangs had taken all their identity documents. In my opinion, it’s actually a good thing for kids to be proactive about their careers and get some work experience. And, as I always say: wet work is work! ^_^

rileyjaydennis:

What is a TERF?

😱

Those awful bitches! This is a very useful guide, thank-you. Before watching this, I wasn’t too sure what a TERF was – I heard that Chim*m*nd* Ng*zi Ad*ch*e was one (I’ve starred out her name so she won’t get follows) but I didn’t know she believed in all this hateful stuff about ignoring oppression that black women face.

So where do we go from here? How can we stop these hateful “feminists” from having such a huge influence in our society?

Thinking about it, this is just a side issue, but I actually think there is one area where I might be able to bring something to the table! I’ve had a look at the news reports of murders of trans people, and it seems the perpetrators were all cisgender men.
Now, bear with me on this one – being an assigned-male-at-birth with a few notches on my .22, I can have a word with my colleagues and tell them not to accept any hits on trans people. Can’t promise I’ll change the behaviour of all men overnight, but I’ll do my bit! ^_^

Though the real problem is those rascally TERFs. How can we make them pipe down and stop making such a fuss about their vaginas and reproductive rights and boring stuff like that?

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)

thisisnotacatblog:

radmercy:

im so tried

it costs $0 to not be a terf piece of shit

go choke 🙂

Nice to meet another choking afficionado! ^_^ I don’t usually choke feminists (the target is the client’s decision, not mine; it’s usually a business rival, and, well, business is still a man’s world, what can I say).
But it’s nice to have some positivity. And feminists are always being mean and saying “choking people is bad”, so they ARE kind of asking for it.
Anyway, don’t be a stranger! xoxo

pronounrespecter:

devils-aletheia:

PeAk TrAns.

“prison rapes happen less often than u think”

“there’s security measures and isolation”

excellent, stay in male prison then

Did anyone even think to ask how the other male prisoners might feel about having to live with a rapist? I’m a “violent male” (murderer-for-hire, though, not a rapist – I’m not a complete monster!), and if I had to share a cell with a woman who’d raped people, I’d be very annoyed indeed!

Statistically speaking, as an adult male I probably wouldn’t be in physical danger from her, but it’s really gross and I wouldn’t want us to be roomies. Send her to a woman’s prison where she belongs, please.

If a woman has committed and been convicted of rape, all women need to step up and acknowledge the existence violent people of their gender, and tackle the problem. Why do men like me have to put up with it?

You see, this is the problem with “radical” feminism, it doesn’t prioritise our feelings.