Um, does this include identity-fluid heterosexuals such as myself? Seems pretty exclusionary if it isnât centred on me, but okay
I AM SO SORRY i didnt realize,,, đ˘đ˘đ
Thatâs okay, I think youâve self-critted enough! ^_^ Youâre forgiven. (Though if you felt inclined to send me a few grams of cocaine and a bottle of Gordonâs as penance, I wouldnât say no.)
Iâm always happy to see more support for murders by choking! ^_^ My former agency is still recruiting – Sid âThe Snakeââs been branching out into protection rackets, so he needs to hire some more staff. If you donât mind that youâd mostly be strangling/garroting assigned-males-at-birth instead of murdering feminists, Iâd encourage you to apply! Just go to the vodka bar on the end of Hutchence Street in Chelsea and say âIâm here about the security jobâ ^_-
Sorry Iâve been out of contact for a little while, frxends and allies! Dmitryâs been trying to avoid having his head kicked in by Wee Malkie, and, similarly, Iâve been trying to avoid Madison, the CIA assassin and non-man whom I donât find attractive and yet keeps trying to talk to me. Itâs awkward and upsetting.
So we decided to get away for a well-earned city break, and hopped on the Eurostar to Amsterdam. Itâs a much more liberal, tolerant city than London. Itâs world-famous for acceptance of the violence industry. Hitmen can operate much more freely – we even managed to mix business and pleasure and do a little bit of short-term contracting while we were there.
I had a bit of a kerfuffle with the electrics there. Trust me to forget to bring my European adaptor… -_-;; We sorted it with a penknife and a bit of electrical tape though, only a temporary setback!
Every year, thousands of tourists and workers come from miles around to enjoy Amsterdamâs violence industry, whether itâs settling vendettas, negotiating contracts or trying out fun, new torture techniques that we just donât get in our stuffy old home countries.
Dmitry took this nice photo of us outside the Amsterdam Dungeon! ^_^
Itâs a happy, cheerful celebration of torture and execution, if a bit silly. Dmitry didnât think it was gory enough, but I enjoyed it.
Important advice for tourists: On the eastern side of the city, thereâs a bunch of boring, worthy memorials and museums depicting torture and execution as a bad thing. A lot of the Netherlands and Dutch East Indies were occupied by the Nazis and Imperial Japan in WWII, and the invading armies killed a lot of the local people and subjected them to much the same things we do in our industry, which are apparently âwar crimesâ or something O_o??
But thatâs all in the past, and is nothing like Amsterdamâs thriving violence industry today! Mainly because there isnât a war on, and the police wonât try to stop you.
So if you stay away from all the boring stuff, and stick to the central districts where all the best violence is, you wonât feel guilty! ^_^ Have fun!
Well, of course I follow TERFs, SWERFs and SKERFs, I have to know what theyâre saying about me and my allies so that I can protect myself from their mean words and stand up for my fellow hitmen (and hit non-men), obvs.
In fact, you sound suspiciously SKERFy yourself⌠<_< What sort of an ally wouldnât believe someone like me? Itâs rather like âYou canât possibly be a real janitor, they donât have garrote wires dangling from their pocketsâ. The most important thing allies do is BELIEVE us. And then either ignore it or help us cover it up if we commit assaults.
Assuming you’re sincerely asking and not just micro-aggressing me: I do get that reaction rather a lot. That’s why I set up this blog and regularly give interviews with Vice, Jezebel and Everyday Feminism to raise awareness and promote understanding and tolerance of the murder industry. I’m quite open about the fact that I support decriminalisation of both hitmen and our clients: due to long-held prejudice against us, as the law stands, our TARGETS are not criminalised, but WE are. Inexplicably, it is perfectly legal to be murdered, but not to commit murders or pay for murders. That drives the entire industry underground and hurts us all. See my “About Me” page for more info, and do get in touch again if you have any further questions!
And yes, I AM a white collar criminal, unlike Dmitry who has frightfully tasteless tattoos on the rolls of fat on his neck (I’m not fatshaming him, I’m inkshaming him) and drowns his targets in grotty toilets. It’s not about the industry, it’s about sophistication, and the anti-decriminalisation crowd don’t understand or appreciate the nuance. I am a high-class extreme breathplay worker, Dmitry is a common hitman. Though ofc ALL peoplx in our industry are valid and deserve respect, love and empowerment! ^_^ Even cheap Russian goons who look like lorry drivers.
I’m trying to change hearts and minds as well as the law. Of course, as it stands now, I COULD just walk into a target’s space, get them alone and kill them. We’re not known for respecting boundaries or the law in my profession. Though if the assassination industry were decriminalised, it could be regulated and taxed! I would quite like to pay tax: I already contribute significantly to the public purse in voluntary donations to my local police officers and to the Conservative Party.
But it’s about real cultural change, too. The problem isn’t really the law, it’s other people’s intolerant attitudes. I COULD just walk into a target’s safe space, but I have to cope with folx challenging my identity and my right to be there. They say “wait, aren’t you the guy I saw fiddling with the security cameras?” and “hey, you don’t work here” and “aaargh he’s got a fucking syringe”. That’s the real issue. We need social change as well!
Iâve always supported the Conservative Party, because they have traditionally supported white-collar criminals like me. And indeed, they continue to give that support even through such turbulent times for the party: they have proposed the Gender Recognition Act, which will allow identity-fluid assigned-male-at-births such as my good self to enter spaces as we please, according to our chosen identities, without anyone challenging us!
Many of us were concerned about the possibility of a Labour government, which might oppose such measures. After all, historically, theyâve discriminated against me by prioritising the rights of women and poor people over me and my friends, and theyâve over-regulated âdangerousâ and âviolentâ industries that âcause harmâ and all that irrelevant, problematic, offensive stuff.
But just today, I heard that another person of fluid identity who supports and tolerates violence has successfully infiltrated the Labour Party! ^_^ Lily Madigan, a 19-year-old who enjoys bullying women and merrily joking about rape and child molestation, managed to sneak in, identifying as a feminist (nice touch, heh ^_-), and was so good at it that she actually replaced the incumbent! Yassss!
She has an interesting technique, I must say: when questioned about her support for violence and abuse, she didnât try to apologise or run away, she doubled down and claimed that it was all made up to discredit her. I canât believe that worked, that takes some chutzpah! I wish I had the nerve to try that myself. Perhaps next time someone accuses me of being an assassin in disguise, Iâll say âwell, clearly this is a conspiracy to make me LOOK like a violent creep. You shouldnât believe everything you hear.â (And then Iâll murder them.)
So now that we have a representative in the Labour Party (as a womenâs officer, no less! Take that, SKERFs!) Iâm hoping that itâs only a matter of time before my profession is accepted and legalised. Though, Ms. Madigan, if youâre reading this, now that youâre in, please, do own up to the rape jokes and the bullying. We wantâ to de-stigmatise violence, and you canât do that if you keep acting like itâs a bad thing. Be proud of your work and your beliefs! ^_^
In fact, youâve more than earned it – have a hit on me! Well, not ON me, obvs, I mean, Iâll do the hit, free of charge. Just let me know the targetâs name and last known address and Iâll take care of them! â¤
(I must admit, Iâm a bit uneasy about the rape thing, but you do you, itâs not for me to judge. Shine on, you crazy diamond! ^_^ I just do murders, is that okay?)
âLily Madigan, 19, was elected as womenâs officer in Rochester and
Strood, Kent, after she accused her predecessor Anne Ruzylo, 52, of
transphobic views and demanded her removal. She was then elected to the
role with a four-vote majority when around 85 members took to the ballot
box. [âŚ] Madiganâs appointment came after every member of a local Labour Party
executive committee in Bexhill and Battle resigned. The mass walkout
happened after Ruzyloâs resignation. Her colleagues were outraged at
calls for her dismissal when she was accused of making anti-trans
comments on Twitter.
In response Ruzylo said: âDebate is not hate. If we canât
talk about gender laws and get shut down on that, whatâs next? Weâre
going back to the days of McCarthyism. It is disgraceful.â
Madigan, who wants to be the first trans MP, told the Times:
âFirstly, trans-women are women, women who are vastly more
under-represented than most. We havenât even had a transgender MP yet.â
âLike
most women, Iâm a feminist. They arenât mutually exclusive issues, far
from it. I would argue strongly that all appeals to biology are
anti-feminist. We canât challenge the view we are limited by our biology
in one breath and use the biology argument against trans women in the
next. Someone who is an accountant would probably make a better
treasurer initially, but that doesnât mean we should only give the role
to an accountant.â
Fake account from â13. Yep.
the tweets are from 2013âŚ. who would make a fake account for a 15-year-old who had not transitioned or was not yet involved in politics?
Those time stamps donât lie.
The damage control of this zitty fuckboy Iâm howling
Stranglewank Hitman 