@little-red-clitoral-hood if you are really gonna take this THAT seriously..idk what else to tell you clitrex please seek therapy
The fact that you take a dude wanting to choke out his girlfriend lightly is far more worrying
It’s a joke, hun.
Speaking as an extreme breath play specialist worker, I’m very happy to see strangulation being normalised and celebrated! ^_^
It wasn’t so very long ago that if a target was found dead from an apparent auto-erotic asphyxiation, his relatives would immediately suspect murder and call the police. We hitmen lived under intense suspicion and carried a burden of shame. ;_;
But in recent years, I’ve faced less antagonism from law enforcement, because now when people find my targets’ bodies, they say “Oh well, he was a cool, progressive kind of guy, I guess he must’ve been into choke porn”. And they don’t suspect a thing! ^_- Most of my targets tend to me assigned-male-at-births for some reason (it’s not a sexism thing, it’s just that drug barons, warlords, arms dealers, gangsters etc. tend to be popular targets and they’re male-dominated industries), and, luckily for me, they tend to be the demographic who openly and publicly discuss their fetish for physical assault and strangulation. And now they’re encouraged, and in turn that encourages and empowers me! ^_^
Thank-you to the original tweeters for being such a great ally to me! ❤
action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him
Um, actually, this is incredibly problematic. It’s all fun and games until it starts actually affecting people in the industry such as my good self. My clients are perfectly lovely people (who should all be decriminalised immediately!) and hardly any of them have tried to kill me. But if a movie like that were out there in the public consciousness, they might not trust me! (´;︵;`)
Really, we need more positive, empowering representations of my profession. That’s the best way you can support hitmen like me! ^_^
Good news: I survived the night and completed the job! No thanks to my nasty cunty SKERF of a next door neighbour, I might add.
I thought about the logistics and scoped out the area, and I concluded that I could use my OWN balcony – the one I’ve been using for ages (when I’m identifying as Gaspar Milligan and not as a cover) to smoke on outside, so I can sell the flat more easily if I need to disappear or launder a few mil.
I was reduced to MAKING MY OWN TEA AND SANDWICHES though. It was completely degrading and unacceptable! Plus, I could have died. I mean, I didn’t, but I could have! Kitchens are dangerous places, you know.
What to do now, friends and allies? I can’t kill her or even put a hit on her and get Dmitry to do it, because she lives in my apartment complex and even the Metropolitan Police would guess I had something to do with it.
So I did the next best thing: I wrote an anonymous note reading “PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON HITMEN END UP IN THE DUMPSTER BEHIND WAITROSE, WRAPPED UP IN ROLLS OF CARPET” and slipped it under her door. She’ll feel so guilty! ^_^ Serves her right for doing feminism wrong!
Here’s a little comic strip I made, all about how you can be a good ally to your favourite empowered, independent, high-class extreme breath play specialist! ^_^
It’s not difficult. All you have to do is shut the fuck up and let me get on with doing my thing, no matter how dangerous it may be to myself and others! I know what I’m talking about better than you do, so just trust me on everything, okay
And yes, I did model the character in the top-left panel on Dmitry! ^_^ I
think it’s important to represent all sorts of body types and looks,
including hideous, misshapen troglodytes like my dear friend and
co-worker Mr. Svodnik. They are valid folx too, in spite of everything. I
hope he sees this and it makes him feel better about himself. (I know
I’d certainly need to be cheered up if I looked like that. Fortunately
I’m a handsome chap and hardly ever depend on external approval and validation! ^_- )
Ugggh. I literally can’t even with my next door neighbour right now. My current target works in the financial services office across the street, and her balcony would make a perfect vantage point from which I could shoot him.
So I knocked on her door and politely asked if I could set up a sniper nest on her balcony, and would she bring me some tea and sandwiches periodically throughout the evening, because he doesn’t always leave work at the same time every day so I could be waiting a long time and it gets quite cold out there?
(trigger warning: woman conducting literal violence against me)
SHE
SAID
NO
(0___0)
I thought I’d be used to such appalling treatment by now, but it still hurts every time. TT_TT These uppity bitches like my neighbour seem to think they have the right to tell identityfluid assigned-male-at-births intent on committing violence that we can’t come in. And even worse, if we do manage to get in, they won’t prioritise our needs over their own selfishness. I could FREEZE TO DEATH or STARVE out there without tea and sandwiches!
Well, I’ll show her. There’s a ledge that goes around the building, so I should be able to sneak onto her balcony and set up and take the shot without her noticing. I shall just have to go without sustenance, and watch my footing on the ledge. If I fall to my death out there, it will be ALL YOUR FAULT, MS. HENDERSON. I hope you can live with yourself. In fact, I hereby bequeath you what remains of my industrial tin of Swarfega, to wash off my BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS. (FWIW, it works a treat on literal blood! ^_^ )
Here’s a little comic strip I made, all about how you can be a good ally to your favourite empowered, independent, high-class extreme breath play specialist! ^_^
It’s not difficult. All you have to do is shut the fuck up and let me get on with doing my thing, no matter how dangerous it may be to myself and others! I know what I’m talking about better than you do, so just trust me on everything, okay
So I was looking forward to Mechanic: Resurrection coming out on Netflix. I wanted to see the theatrical release last year, but I don’t get the chance to go to the cinema very often. Occasionally I attend screenings of rather niche artistic oeuvres, in a professional capacity, seated in the row behind my target, but I always have to leave long before the lights come up. Anyway, I enjoyed the original Mechanic (both the remake and the 1972 original) well enough, so I was looking forward to the sequel. But disappointingly, it falls back into tired, offensive stereotypes and problematic themes.
Before I get into criticism, let me say, I don’t have a problem with Jason Statham playing one of us. He might not identify as an assassin himself, but he’s tried to portray our lifestyle sensitively in a few movies. However, he is rather pandering to the stereotype. In future, I would like to see a range of body types represented in depictions of hitmen (and hit-non-men). Dmitry, for example, is a Person Of Size (POS) and he doesn’t often see gangsters who look like him. And we never really see gender identity explored properly. All it would take is one throwaway line of The Stath saying “did I mention I’m non-binary?” That’s all it needs.
Perhaps the most problematic theme in Mechanic: Resurrection is that our hero, Arthur Bishop, finds himself violently coerced into employment. Now, I’m not saying this never happens in our industry, but it happens so rarely as to be beneath concern, and everyone should forget about it. It’s offensive to deny us our agency and paint us all as victims, instead of the *~Happy Hitters~* that we all really are.
Anyway, I’m planning on critiquing more popular entertainment media, through a progressive lens, so watch this space for updates! ^_^
NOTE: Please stop asking me to criticise recordings of non-fictional violence such as beheadings, executions, extremist recruitment videos etc., because there is absolutely nothing wrong with them and they have no impact on wider culture. They are very popular on the Internet, and lots of assigned-male-at-births enjoy watching them, so leave them alone! >_<
hello ladies, non threatening cis white male here (he/him) i have participated in 14 callouts, when i made a naughty post i was the most sorry anyone on earth has ever been, i have a terfs dont follow banner in my about, and i have gone 5 weeks without taking a human life
I recognise that the term “hitman” is quite problematic and exclusionary. Because it doesn’t include killers like Madison, the CIA agent from whom I’m currently hiding. (She’s not my type. When I said that everyone should be open to dating killers like me, I didn’t mean *I* should have to date another killer! -_-;; )
So, with gender inclusivity in mind, I propose the terms “hitmen” for male-aligned peoplx like me, and “hit-non-men” for those other things.
Let’s take a moment to celebrate the hit-non-men in our community! ^_^
okay that’s enough, now back to celebrating me again
I have heard “slay queen” mooted as an alternative, but I don’t like it, because nobody ever calls me a murder king or anything nice like that, so I don’t see why non-men should get more positivity than me. It hurts my feelings!
I recognise that the term “hitman” is quite problematic and exclusionary. Because it doesn’t include killers like Madison, the CIA agent from whom I’m currently hiding. (She’s not my type. When I said that everyone should be open to dating killers like me, I didn’t mean *I* should have to date another killer! -_-;; )
So, with gender inclusivity in mind, I propose the terms “hitmen” for male-aligned peoplx like me, and “hit-non-men” for those other things.
Let’s take a moment to celebrate the hit-non-men in our community! ^_^
okay that’s enough, now back to celebrating me again
Stranglewank Hitman 