^THISSSS, Y’ALL. TERFs are usually SKERFs as well (they both object to my right to identify as an innocent bystander or member of household staff for the purposes of getting close to my targets).
People are NOT just attracted to genitals. Personally, I don’t see what all the fuss is about with genitals anyway. I’m heterosexual, but if you must know, I’m somewhat attracted to the power trip when you have complete control over whether someone lives or dies (hence why I got into this industry), but tbh, primarily, I’m attracted to fire.
There’s nothing quite like enjoying some romantic candlelight with a sexual partner (generally an assigned-female-at-birth or just my good self). Watching the flames flicker and dance, curling around the wick, winking at me in the darkness, teasing me in ways that no woman ever could. At least, until whichever nasty cow I’m with at the time shames me by saying “what are you staring at? no, seriously, why can’t you ever look at me during sex?”.
Sometimes I like to build a small fire and touch and stroke the flames. They lick round my fingers like a hungry animal, blistering my skin as if they want to strip it from me. I obediently disrobe for them, shedding my blood-stained clothes and any documentary evidence of my murders, and they take them greedily. The fire eats away all the evidence of my sin, it always forgives me, and as it fades away to glowing embers, I am made pure and innocent again.
It speaks only in soothing, crackling whispers, and never uses the wrong pronouns for me or has any opinions I don’t like – or any opinions or thoughts at all, for that matter! It’s a beautiful, mindless object and I decide whether it grows or dies, as I feed it or neglect it. My perfect lover.
Even when I’m trying to interact with an assigned-female-at-birth’s genitals, I can only think about fire. I try not to show it, but the judgemental bitch is always like “is everything alright?” when I run out of matches and can’t get it up. Truth is, I’m just not interested in human contact or a partner’s body in the same way.
So it’s good to know that most people, except for TERFs and the morally equivalent sexual harassers, agree with me that genitals aren’t important for sex! ALL SEXUALITY IS NORMAL AND HEALTHY, including pyrophilia, and definitely excluding anyone who’s only interested in people with particular sorts of genitals!
Lots of mean old AFABs call me “creepy” or “skeevy” or a “homicidal fucking psychopath” (an ableist slur, bt-dubs) just because I get off on restraining, assaulting and then murdering people. I always enjoyed having power over victims since I was a boy, killing ants in the back garden with a magnifying glass, and tying up the neighbours’ cat. “Do what you love”, the mercifully open-minded careers advisor at my alma mater (Carradine College, Oxford) said to me, and so I became a hitman. And as shown here, restraining and disabling someone’s limbs so you can give them a “hard pounding” (I assume they mean with a hammer, tactical baton or improvised weapon) is a natural, healthy, fun thing to do! Look, it’s presented right alongside boring old toys for “genital stimulation” (apparently some people like that? 🤷♂️).
So stop judging me for getting off on violence. It’s anti-feminist (Everyday Feminism says so), and it makes me feel sad and left out. Harnesses and restraints are a great idea, especially for people new to the industry who are still working on their quick kill techniques. What a great idea for any #hitbabies out there! UwU
💕 reblog if you’re a blood-worshipping fucking SATANIST who loves her womanhood and thinks periods are beautiful 💕
This is SUPER PROBLEMATIC. How come these fake feminists celebrate p*riod blood but don’t celebrate it when I kill people and get blood all over the place? I have to clean it all up to avoid getting caught! They say it’s different because my career is “violent” and “murderous”, but, when you think about it, it is just as violent to talk about p*riods and make guys like me feel sad and excluded!
Glad to hear it! ^_^ It’s actually very easy to be a good, woke, real feminist. You don’t even have to stop using porn, frequenting the sex industry, or assaulting and killing people (whatever their assigned birth gender)! Just remember to use the right language and don’t offend people of fluid identity like my good self, and you’ll be well on your way to being a great ally! 🙂 *~ stranglewank hitman loves you ~*
Dmitry: hey gaspar
Me: I’m not in the mood for your shit, Dmitry, I’m feeling sad and lonely.
Dmitry: 😦 what matter?
Me: Nobody wants to date an assassin. Women are so oppressive and discriminatory these days! How did you manage to get… whats-her-face, your cover, to marry you? And you look like a turnip with eyes. Why don’t you have this trouble with women?
Dmitry: easy, i not tell them i assassin
Me: Well, you’re utterly reprehensible. That’s not an option for me.
Dmitry: what about madison? she say she likes u
Me: I don’t know who that is.
Dmitry: nice agent lady from american embassy! she been watching u 4 sum time, she think ur cute
Me: What the fuck, Dmitry? I don’t want to date CIA! What’s wrong with you?
Dmitry: why come you won’t date assassin?
Me: Because I don’t want to get murdered, you stupid wankspangle. What if her bosses put me on her hit list?
Dmitry: so you won’t date assassin but women should date assassin like u???
Me: Well, yeah, because they’re not me!
Dmitry: thats not vary nice of u
Me: Stop oppressing me, Dmitry.
Dmitry: ill tell madison u dead
Me: God damn it, Dmitry, faking death is your answer for everything.
Dmitry: it works tho :)))
WELL, I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY, “FEMINISTS”. Your ideology is causing literal violence. I got shot (again) today.
I was trying to get into the home of an adult entertainment media oligarch to assassinate him with my usual modus operandi, and one of his security goons saw me, asked me to identify myself, and when I said “I’m the new guard, I’m here to relieve you, didn’t anyone tell you?”, he didn’t believe me and challenged my self-defined identity, and shot me!
😭
Who is really to blame for another man shooting me, while guarding a billionaire man who made his money in the porn industry? Radical feminists, of course! If you’ve ever doubted something a man said, THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
This has nothing to do with the so-called “male violence” issue that these fake feminists keep whingeing on about, and everything to do with them opposing my right to identify as a guard.
I don’t know how you can live with yourselves, you evil, murderous scum. (And not murderous in a good way, like me.)So my message is: Women, sit down and shut up about “male violence”, otherwise things like this happen.
WHEN WILL FEMINISTS START DOING SOMETHING ABOUT MAN-ON-MAN VIOLENCE? Women are supposed to take care of people, it is their responsibility to fix this!
down with terfs/rad fems but also down with alt-right; you both are very evil
YASSSS. Down with SKERFs and every kind of exclusionary radical feminists! I’ve been saying this for a long time: feminists who oppose my right to identify as I please and who oppose MY CHOICE to enter a career in the violence industry (along with the CHOICE of all conscripts and child soldiers) are responsible for any and all violence I may face in my working life.
Not literally, I mean, but figuratively. In my career, I’ve been tortured, beaten up and shot, and admittedly it’s been exclusively by assigned-male-at-births. But I suspect the reason AMABs attack me so often is they’ve been listening to feminists too much, in fact I’m sure of it. Recently, I was stabbed in the thigh by the leader of a Russian neo-Nazi prison gang. I was going to assassinate him, and he took offence and tried to stop me. Where did a cis male neo-Nazi gangster get the idea to commit violence if not from reading Sheila Jeffries?
oh yeah, also down with the far-right themselves, they’re not very nice either, I suppose. They’re very stylish though, I like their scratchy tattoos and unusual haircuts (like my cool patchy style! I can’t get any tattoos though, I’m not supposed to have any identifying marks, being as I am identity-fluid). But yeah, they are very evil, almost as evil as feminists!
i realize you’re trying to troll me but you bring up a good point with your comment “feminists who oppose my right to identify as i please …. are responsible for any …. violence”
but i mean, are the feminists you’re describing TRUE feminists if they are attacking you and your identity? things to think about.
feminists aren’t evil, many are fighting for equality in the world (myself included). I think the word you’re thinking here is “misandrists”, which are women who want to put down men.
I would define TERFs as transphobic misandrists, imo. Thanks for your input, asshole
I’m not trying to troll, I agree? o___O? That is a good point though, feminists who exclude identity-fluid violence workers such as myself are not real feminists, they ARE misandrists, systemic haters of men and they are entirely responsible for other men assaulting me. I mean, if feminism doesn’t include males, who is it even for? These so-called “feminists” keep talking about “male violence” as if there’s any kind of pattern to violent crimes, and they use that as an excuse to keep males like me out of their spaces. Which is really mean and exclusionary to me, those misandrist bitch cunt scum!
one of my pet peeves is when someone with a made-up sexuality/gender gets told its made up, they go ‘haha guess i don’t exist then’ or ‘i didn’t know i was imaginary’ or some bullshit…. stfu.
This is a useful and perfectly logical response, though? It’s a good way to shut people up when they’re being mean about your self-defined fluid identity. I’ve used this a few times for getting into a target’s home, for example when I was hired to take out an oligarch at his house:
Me (while identifying as a hot tub repairman): Hello, I’m here to fix the hot tub, please let me come inside. Target’s butler: But this mansion doesn’t have a hot tub. Me: Damn it, I thought all oligarchs had hot tubs! Er… Well, I suppose I just don’t exist, then, do I, if I’m not here to fix the hot tub? Hur hur hur. Butler: Of course you exist…? Me: Well let me in, then. Unless you’re questioning my identity??? Butler: My apologies, sir, please do come in. Me: Thank-you, self-crit accepted! (murders the boss, sneaks out the window and flees before butler realises anything is wrong)
down with terfs/rad fems but also down with alt-right; you both are very evil
YASSSS. Down with SKERFs and every kind of exclusionary radical feminists! I’ve been saying this for a long time: feminists who oppose my right to identify as I please and who oppose MY CHOICE to enter a career in the violence industry (along with the CHOICE of all conscripts and child soldiers) are responsible for any and all violence I may face in my working life.
Not literally, I mean, but figuratively. In my career, I’ve been tortured, beaten up and shot, and admittedly it’s been exclusively by assigned-male-at-births. But I suspect the reason AMABs attack me so often is they’ve been listening to feminists too much, in fact I’m sure of it. Recently, I was stabbed in the thigh by the leader of a Russian neo-Nazi prison gang. I was going to assassinate him, and he took offence and tried to stop me. Where did a cis male neo-Nazi gangster get the idea to commit violence if not from reading Sheila Jeffries?
oh yeah, also down with the far-right themselves, they’re not very nice either, I suppose. They’re very stylish though, I like their scratchy tattoos and unusual haircuts (like my cool patchy style! I can’t get any tattoos though, I’m not supposed to have any identifying marks, being as I am identity-fluid). But yeah, they are very evil, almost as evil as feminists!
Another article in my #hitbabies series! I’m going to teach you a bit about the profession.
When it comes to your target’s body, it’s important that you have the facts. With that sentiment in mind, I’m here to lay it all out for you when it comes to strangulation.
It’s important that we talk about all kinds of violent murders, because not everyone is doing, or wants to have, “non-violent” careers. If you don’t want to kill people, but your agency is pressuring you into it, or someone more powerful than you is blackmailing you to make you do a hit, it’s helpful to know the facts.
If you’re not comfortable reading about murder, that’s perfectly OK, too, but it would make you a murderphobic, intolerant, old-fashioned SKERF, so, your choice.
Obviously there is a lot of stuff on the Internet about murder, but what about young people? What about the so-called “child soldiers” who need to know about this for their job (and who are entirely consenting to a career in the murder industry)?
This is strangulation 101, for youngsters, beginners, and all inquisitive folk.
Why strangulation? Strangulation, though often stigmatised, is a perfectly natural way to kill. Seriously, animals in the wild kill by compressing their prey’s throat, and boa constrictors kill by asphyxiation. So if you’re a little worried about trying it or can’t understand why anyone would do it, just know that you’re in the minority and you’re wrong.
That being said, strangulation is not enjoyed by everyone, particularly the target, and that’s OK.
The appeal of strangulation when the target has a laryngeal prominence For targets with a laryngeal prominence, you can have a great and easy experience by using their laryngeal prominence as a guide for placement of your ligature.
First of all: What is a laryngeal prominence? It is a piece of cartilage over the larynx, also known as the “Adam’s apple”, It feels like a solid, small bulge.
The appeal of strangulation when the target does not have a laryngeal prominence Just because the target doesn’t have a laryngeal prominence does not mean murder is off-limits. In theory, violence against non-laryngeal prominence owners is taboo, but in practice, it’s actually considered quite normal and encouraged. Many laryngeal prominence owners love committing violence against non-laryngeal proninence owners and often get away with it, or even pressure the target into letting them do it! (If you’re reading this and you’re a non-laryngeal prominence owner and you don’t want to be choked, what’s wrong with you, you mean old SKERF?)
[edit: Safety I forgot to mention this bit – make sure you use gloves and protect your hands. If you’re using piano wire without protection, you could cut through your own fingers, so don’t do that. Also the target might fight back or summon their goons and kill you, and you might get arrested and get life in prison or executed depending on your local laws. But whatever, that stuff’s boring and unglamorous, so back to the fun stuff!]
Start slow – seriously Here is the real deal. You can’t just decide you’re going to kill someone one day and then go for it.
Nope. Not a great idea. If you want to make the kill look like it was self-inflicted, like an auto-erotic asphyxiation, you need to start slowly. Silence the target first by compressing the
larynx, gently. You don’t want to leave marks at this point. Start with
your hand or arm, then use your ligature.
remember to place the ligature above the larynx (use the laryngeal prominence as a guide, if the target owns one), and pull the ligature up and under the mandible.
If you’re in a hurry and you’re not concerned about getting caught after the fact, you can skip straight to the ligature strangulation. Slip it over the target’s head and pull hard and quickly so they can’t shout for back-up.
Yes, there might be some blood Forgive me for waiting until the very end of this piece to get to this burning question, but I wanted you to know the benefits and positives when it comes to strangulation. Because there are many! I want to personally assure you that you will not get covered in blood during strangulation. Sure, there are horror stories about people getting murdered and abused, and killing somehow being a bad thing, but aren’t there always? Who cares about those victims, right? They just weren’t doing it right, or they weren’t open-minded enough to enjoy the violence!
That being said, yes, if you’re using a thin wire, you might cut the target and come into contact with some blood. You are cutting the carotid artery. It is where blood flows. It’s NOT a big deal. Everybody bleeds. Everyone has a circulatory system.
Murder can be awesome, and if you want to give it a go, you do that. More power to you.
This article has been updated to include the importance of using protection during strangulation and not accidentally cutting your own fingers off or being murdered in self-defence by the target or being caught by law enforcement. Whoops!
Oh fuck, I forgot to label the trachea in the anatomy diagram. Ah well, never mind. It’s not like the trachea’s all that important for breathing, right?
Stranglewank Hitman 