Author: Stranglewank Hitman

Empowered, independent, high-class wet worker specialising in extreme breath play. Identity-fluid, pronouns he/him. #WetWorkIsWork

Strangulation: What You Need to Know

Another article in my #hitbabies series! I’m going to teach you a bit about the profession.

When it comes to your target’s body, it’s important that you have the facts. With that sentiment in mind, I’m here to lay it all out for you when it comes to strangulation.

It’s important that we talk about all kinds of violent murders, because not everyone is doing, or wants to have, “non-violent” careers. If you don’t want to kill people, but your agency is pressuring you into it, or someone more powerful than you is blackmailing you to make you do a hit, it’s helpful to know the facts.

If you’re not comfortable reading about murder, that’s perfectly OK, too, but it would make you a murderphobic, intolerant, old-fashioned SKERF, so, your choice.

Obviously there is a lot of stuff on the Internet about murder, but what about young people? What about the so-called “child soldiers” who need to know about this for their job (and who are entirely consenting to a career in the murder industry)?

This is strangulation 101, for youngsters, beginners, and all inquisitive folk.

Why strangulation?
Strangulation, though often stigmatised, is a perfectly natural way to kill. Seriously, animals in the wild kill by compressing their prey’s throat, and boa constrictors kill by asphyxiation. So if you’re a little worried about trying it or can’t understand why anyone would do it, just know that you’re in the minority and you’re wrong.

That being said, strangulation is not enjoyed by everyone, particularly the target, and that’s OK.

image

The appeal of strangulation when the target has a laryngeal prominence
For targets with a laryngeal prominence, you can have a great and easy experience by using their laryngeal prominence as a guide for placement of your ligature.

First of all: What is a laryngeal prominence? It is a piece of cartilage over the larynx, also known as the “Adam’s apple”, It feels like a solid, small bulge.

The appeal of strangulation when the target does not have a laryngeal prominence
Just because the target doesn’t have a laryngeal prominence does not mean murder is off-limits. In theory, violence against non-laryngeal prominence owners is taboo, but in practice, it’s actually considered quite normal and encouraged. Many laryngeal prominence owners love committing violence against non-laryngeal proninence owners and often get away with it, or even pressure the target into letting them do it! (If you’re reading this and you’re a non-laryngeal prominence owner and you don’t want to be choked, what’s wrong with you, you mean old SKERF?)

[edit: Safety
I forgot to mention this bit – make sure you use gloves and protect your hands. If you’re using piano wire without protection, you could cut through your own fingers, so don’t do that. Also the target might fight back or summon their goons and kill you, and you might get arrested and get life in prison or executed depending on your local laws. But whatever, that stuff’s boring and unglamorous, so back to the fun stuff!]

Start slow – seriously
Here is the real deal. You can’t just decide you’re going to kill someone one day and then go for it.

Nope. Not a great idea. If you want to make the kill look like it was self-inflicted, like an auto-erotic asphyxiation, you need to start slowly. Silence the target first by compressing the
larynx, gently. You don’t want to leave marks at this point. Start with
your hand or arm, then use your ligature.

remember to place the ligature above the larynx (use the laryngeal prominence as a guide, if the target owns one), and pull the ligature up and under the mandible.

If you’re in a hurry and you’re not concerned about getting caught after the fact, you can skip straight to the ligature strangulation. Slip it over the target’s head and pull hard and quickly so they can’t shout for back-up.

Yes, there might be some blood
Forgive me for waiting until the very end of this piece to get to this burning question, but I wanted you to know the benefits and positives when it comes to strangulation. Because there are many!
I want to personally assure you that you will not get covered in blood during strangulation. Sure, there are horror stories about people getting murdered and abused, and killing somehow being a bad thing, but aren’t there always? Who cares about those victims, right? They just weren’t doing it right, or they weren’t open-minded enough to enjoy the violence!

That being said, yes, if you’re using a thin wire, you might cut the target and come into contact with some blood. You are cutting the carotid artery. It is where blood flows. It’s NOT a big deal. Everybody bleeds. Everyone has a circulatory system.

Murder can be awesome, and if you want to give it a go, you do that. More power to you.

This article has been updated to include the importance of using protection during strangulation and not accidentally cutting your own fingers off or being murdered in self-defence by the target or being caught by law enforcement. Whoops!

Why Security Guards Are A Form of Cultural Appropriation

Across the globe, men, women and non-binary individuals practise dressing in inconspicuous uniforms as a form of concealing their assigned identity. Wikipedia identifies individuals in disguise as “often criminals and secret agents
seeking to avoid identification. A person working for an agency trying
to get information might go ‘undercover’ to get information without
being recognised by the public”. It is a way of identifying with the aspect of “the in-group” in terms of identity. This practice can be seen in a myriad of settings, including my work, where I often dress as a trusted employee of the target to get close to them. Individuals who practise camouflage and disguise, such as spies and assassins, have often been persecuted throughout history, resulting in violent retribution that can even lead to death, and the stigma against it persists.

One concept I found about recently was that of security guards actually working as security guards, by wearing uniforms and badges, receiving lower than average wages, and encountering random violence, while identifying as security guards. They sum it up as “a career”. I was confused as to why they would choose to identify as security personnel, when all they are doing is living a life of risking assault, paid less on average and wearing the uncomfortable uniform they’re made to wear every day for their normal job. I discussed this odd occurrence with some fellow hitmen and one of them quickly pointed out that this can even be considered offensive. But why is that?

The
Cambridge Dictionary indicates that cultural appropriation is the act of using things from another culture, especially without showing understanding or respect for said culture. When security personnel perform as security personnel, they are dipping their feet into the career, this being the positive experience of being a security guard, without receiving any of the backlash that infiltrators such as my good self are subjected to. So why is this act to be considered offensive? Because appropriation is a form of discrimination. Essentially, individuals outside of gangster/assassin/spy culture, conveniently steal certain aspects of it, for their own use (namely, wearing the uniforms that were assigned to them, which they have to wear to do their jobs, and risking being assaulted), without receiving the prejudice and discrimination individuals from our culture are faced with.

I mean, it’s certainly true that people who actually work as security
personnel are regularly met with what I suppose you could describe as violence – for example, their everyday
working life involves dealing with violent members of the public, and of
course I regularly club them unconscious or chloroform them so I can
borrow their uniform from them for the purposes of disguise. And of course the uniforms themselves can be quite uncomfortable and scratchy, but they have to wear them for their job. But we’re
not talking about them or whatever oppression they may or may not face right now, we’re talking about me!

To clarify, everyone should have the freedom to dress as they like, and identify as whoever they want. But, guards who face absolutely no problems whatsoever and have an easy life free of violence should not be labelled “guard”. That can have a damaging effect on the legitimacy of my identification as a guard when I’m trying to hide in plain sight from a target. Not only that, but wearing a guard’s uniform usually gives me a safe haven to practise my craft. Wearing uniform could be reduced to dress-up, while individual assassins continue to be treated with prejudice and discrimination.

Playing around with filters! ^_^ I snapped this one of me and my friend Guro hanging out in the Docklands. He joined me on a job while he’s visiting, he wanted to see how I work, because he still didn’t really get quite how the whole “stranglewank murder” scene works. But he’s willing to learn, and I like that about him. He’s a good, pro-kink, murder-positive ally!

I don’t know what it is with Yakuza, but every one I’ve met is always really camera-shy, and Guro’s no different, as you can see. I told him I’d make him look really cool with the filters, but he still didn’t want his picture taken. -_-;

He needs to be more positive about his self-image. Maybe he could get some cosmetic fillers, lipo on his neck, or veneers like me (I’ve had these since I was 20, a drug baron caught me trying to assassinate him and he hit me in the face with the butt of his rifle and broke my teeth). Then he’d probably feel better about having his picture taken. It’s not pathological submission to beauty standards if you do it FOR YOURSELF. I’m all about body positivity – I have lots of experience with bodies after all!

Let me into your spaces

I’m so done with fake queers (eg gays, lesbians) policing my queer identity. I’m NOT GAY (louder for the people at the back! also hello ladies 😉 ) but I am just as valid as any other queer (that’s why I’m allowed to say that word). What could possibly be queerer than a kinky violent straight man with an edgy haircut? Answer me that one!
Please let ickle heterosexual me into your spaces. Sometimes I need a safehouse and I cba setting up my own. Plus, I need to get into my targets’ spaces to do my job, and I’m not as good at breaking locks as I used to be. Not without a stiff gin anyway.

Inclusive language is important

Y’all. The term is “non-consensual euthanasia”, not “murder”. Stop stigmatising my work!

I got shot at AGAIN today (fortunately he/she/ze missed) and I don’t think I’d get shot at nearly as often if there weren’t such a stigma attached to my profession!

I’m sure most of you reading this are lovely and would never dream of excluding violent men like me from your activism, but some SKERFs (serial killer exclusionary radical “feminists”, i.e. not really feminists at all) keep being horrible and not respectful enough to me. It was probably a radical feminist who shot at me (do radical feminists hang out in Triad gambling dens? Wouldn’t put it past them). 

THAT IS THE ENTIRE REASON MY JOB CARRIES SUCH A RISK OF VIOLENCE. I hope you can live with yourselves, you meanies!

I thought the reason Big Dave calls me “Mr. Orange” was my modus operandi (sometimes I put an orange wedge in the target’s mouth to make it look like they were biting down on it during an exotic variety of self-pleasure). Now Dmitry says it’s because everyone thinks I look like Tim Roth and I keep getting shot. I haven’t been shot THAT many times! Dmitry’s gaslighting me again, the shitlord. >_<

Dmitry Svodnik is still a cockwomble

Dmitry: hows it going shitman
Me: Yes, very clever, Dmitry. I’ll have you know I’m enjoying a very relaxing week, thank-you. Guro’s visiting, so I’ve only done two kills this week.
Dmitry: こんばんは 加害者-さん
Me: Shut up, you can’t even speak English, you uncultured swine. Anyway, if you suddenly know so much about language, maybe you can tell me why some SKERF on the Internet called me a “tim” today. I saw some fake feminist article about “male violence” or something. If feminism excludes violent males, who’s it even for, I ask you? So I commented saying that, as a violent male of fluid identity, I felt it was cruel to exclude me from feminism just for my male-ness and my violence, and the author replied with some whiny bitchy pre-menstrual nagging rubbish that I admit I didn’t really read, in which she used the term “tim” to describe me (I read the bit about me, natch). What’s that about and should I be offended?
Dmitry: is probably cuz u look like Tim Roth
Me: Fuck off, no I don’t.
Dmitry: u do, in Reservoir Dogs were he is getting shot and crying “aaaaaa” all the time with his floppy hair, is u
Dmitry: big dave call u mister orange loooool
Me: FYI, all the AFABs dig my hair, the missing patches are bang on trend. So your little “polonium poisoning” prank has only made me even cooler and edgier.
Dmitry: anyway i think it mean “trans-identified male” wich u r cuz of ur identity fluid
Me: Oh, right. Fair enough, then.
Me: Really I’d rather they didn’t identify me at all, especially not to the police, but at least they respect my identity.
Me: Well, thank-you Dmitry, now kindly fuck off, I have better things to do than talk to you.
Dmitry: have nice evening gaspar! xD

fluffylatias:

stranglewankhitman:

fluffylatias:

totallyradicalblog:

I’d rather reduce women to vaginas than reduce them to high heels and eyeliner

id rather uhh? kill cis women?? ☺️😘💕

Oh wow, I didn’t expect to find someone else who understands the urge to kill here on Tumblr! Hi there! 👋😀
Are you professional? Only I know a guy who’s hiring; since I went freelance, my former agency has been looking to replace me.
Although, we don’t usually kill cis women, most of the targets and clients tend to be assigned male at birth for some reason (the clients don’t always tell us how the targets identify, statistically I expect most of them are cis men but the client doesn’t always know). I’ve heard other AMABs tend to murder the AFABs in their lives themselves, they don’t often outsource it to us. Can’t imagine why. So the majority of your work would be killing cis men, most likely.
But if that’s not a dealbreaker for you, I think you’d fit right in! 😉 Visit the vodka bar at the end of Hutchence St in Chelsea and ask for Sid, and he’ll interview you. Good luck! 😊🤞

thx yes im a professional cis women killer (the terfs) ur offer is very tempting.. 👀🤔 ill be sure to contact you at my earliest convenience about the details of this arrangement 😊💕 @tygerofaera u should look into this (;;

Thank-you for your positivity! 😀

I too am sick of SKERFs (serial killer exclusionary radical feminists) calling me a “fucking psychopath” (which is an ableist slur) and a “violent male” and judging me because I like threatening and murdering people. Why won’t they accept us??
😢 Anyway, when I was working for Sid “The Snake”, he did quite a bit of death threats/enforcement work as well as the actual murders, so I’m sure you wouldn’t just be entry level. This was the mid-2000s though so his business model might have changed since the credit crunch, but if anything I expect it’ll just involve more murders for non-payment of debts. Ours is a pretty recession-proof industry! ^_^

fluffylatias:

totallyradicalblog:

I’d rather reduce women to vaginas than reduce them to high heels and eyeliner

id rather uhh? kill cis women?? ☺️😘💕

Oh wow, I didn’t expect to find someone else who understands the urge to kill here on Tumblr! Hi there! 👋😀
Are you professional? Only I know a guy who’s hiring; since I went freelance, my former agency has been looking to replace me.
Although, we don’t usually kill cis women, most of the targets and clients tend to be assigned male at birth for some reason (the clients don’t always tell us how the targets identify, statistically I expect most of them are cis men but the client doesn’t always know). I’ve heard other AMABs tend to murder the AFABs in their lives themselves, they don’t often outsource it to us. Can’t imagine why. So the majority of your work would be killing cis men, most likely.
But if that’s not a dealbreaker for you, I think you’d fit right in! 😉 Visit the vodka bar at the end of Hutchence St in Chelsea and ask for Sid, and he’ll interview you. Good luck! 😊🤞