truxi-twice:
selkieradfem:
cherrygoon:
My issue isn’t that BDSM normalizes violence, it is that BDSM is violence and that it’s becoming normalized
girls are being taught that violence is sexy, or a part of love. It’s not normal. it should never be normal.
Um. Wow. No. This is a bad post, in so many ways.
BDSM isn’t about teaching girls that “violence is sexy, or a part of love.” It’s not about “teaching” anyone anything. Some folks like it, some folks don’t.
Also, why just “girls?” It’s not just “girls” who are into BDSM, as either doms or submissives.
Just…ugh, this is such a gross, ignorant post, and I’m really disappointed to see it on my dash, and I do not have the time or the energy to go into everything WRONG with it. If someone who’s more eloquent than me would like to tap in, I’d appreciate it.
No one is saying you have to like BDSM. If some “girls” don’t find it sexy, then that is perfectly fine. No one should be doing anything sexually that they are not comfortable with. So long as a sexual encounter is consensual on all sides (with the understanding that consent can be revoked and must be expected at any time), then why are you so freaking bothered if someone (of any gender) wants to tie up their partner (of any gender) and Do Sex things That You Personally Don’t Like.
Sheesh. Just…ugh. feels like someone just got their knowledge of BDSM from 50-shades and handwringing housewife essays…
edit: OOOOOHHHH, I just realized the addition was from someone who straight up has “radfem” in their username, so…yeah, suddenly it all falls into place why they’d claim that anything but vanilla (and likely cis) sex is victimizing “girls.” (And why they’re assuming that it would be the “girls” who would be the subs)
I’ll tap in, I have a predilection for BDSM and an MA from Carradine College, Oxford, so I consider myself quite eloquent when I need to be.
BDSM isn’t about teaching anyone that violence is sexy. It’s about celebrating the fact that I personally enjoy restraining and choking people, and teaching everyone else to tolerate my interest and let me continue.
The OP is dripping with the same problematic attitudes that my schoolmasters displayed when they found me repeatedly stabbing one of the younger boys with a compass needle. Even though he said he was completely fine with it! (I know he did, I made sure he said that.) I had hoped we’d moved past this idea that “hurting people is bad”.
These days, my livelihood depends on BDSM and normalisation of the idea that some people enjoy strangling themselves. It means the police are much less likely to investigate the Scene (that’s kink terminology for “crime scene”, bt-dubs) afterwards.
So if you see someone with deep tissue injuries, broken fingers or ligature marks round their neck, or hear screaming, please, for kinksters’ sake, DO NOT INVESTIGATE OR TRY TO “HELP”. That’s kinkphobic, condescending and denies their agency. There’s every chance it could be entirely consensual, and then you’d look very silly indeed.
Anyway, my targets consent. They knew what they were getting into when they took out a loan from my colleagues, the terms were very clear.