Prison Reform and Identity

Y’a’l’l, please support my campaign to allow convicted assassins to be transferred to open and minimum security prisons (regardless of whether or not they’re still in possession of the weapons used on the hit)! ^_^

The reasons behind this should be obvious, but if any ugly bitchy nagging SKERFs start PMSing and try to tell you that my colleagues and I are somehow a danger to the other inmates, hit ‘em with these three true facts:

1. We do not commit random violence. Contrary to what you may have heard about us, we don’t just kill for the fun of it. We need an employment contract first. So even if we’re experts at escape and get to bring all our weapons with us, we’re perfectly safe to be around (unlike our mean old cellmates who hurt our feelings by being scared)!

2. We are not the same people who committed the murders. When I’m on a job, I identify as somebody else. The last job I did, I identified as Bob Jones, window cleaner. You can’t prosecute Gaspar Milligan, stranglewank hitman, for a crime committed by Bob Jones.

3. No hitman has ever been violent in prison. Except for the ones that have, but they don’t count, because they must’ve been amateurs (see point 1).

So please join the campaign! Screwdriver Smith says Belmarsh isn’t much fun and he’d rather be somewhere where he can stretch his legs a bit. Have some empathy, folx :3

Anarchists are Not My Allies 😞

I feel emotionally drained. I always thought anarchists were my allies, who would support my right to assume undercover identities and commit acts of sexualised lethal violence for money and prioritise my enjoyment of violence over my victims’ safety. Most anarchists I meet support BDSM and legalisation of the sex industry, so I assumed they were my friends.

I WAS WRONG. 😢

At the London Anarchist Bookfair this weekend, some nasty whores (I’m allowed to say that because I’m a sex worker) were giving out leaflets opposing my right to identify as I please and enter my targets’ spaces! Just because they were worried about how it would affect women and their safety from “male violence”. Those selfish bitches!

Here are the leaflets in question: https://sages.org.uk/publications/sages-factsheet.html You can see for yourself how they prioritise women, children and trans people over my feelings and convenience, the scumbags.

Even worse, they’re apparently supporters of Helen Steel, who is a tireless campaigner against men changing their identity for their career, for personal gain and to violate people’s boundaries. She was targeted by and now campaigns against “spy cops” – since an undercover police officer infiltrating environmentalist and anarchist groups identified as a fellow activist and entered a relationship with her in his assumed identity.

I mean, sure, identifying as a political activist, using the name of a deceased child and engaging in a two-year relationship with a target to infiltrate a space is going a teensy bit far, but it’s nothing that assassins like me haven’t done in our time, though generally the job doesn’t involve such long-term preparation. The most I tend to do is flirt a little with any assigned-female-at-births who might be able to grant me access to my targets. Or if I’m pressed for time, I just buy them a drink and spike it, so they’re out of the way while I work.

Anyway, my point is, banning spy cops would have the unintended consequence of further criminalising me and my colleagues – as would opposing our right to choose our own identities as needed!

Fortunately we hitmen do still have some allies – a small number of brave allies surrounded and threatened the AFABs handing the leaflets out, and quite correctly called them “cunts”. Thank you for supporting me! ^_^

purestarshine:

one of my pet peeves is when someone with a made-up sexuality/gender gets told its made up, they go ‘haha guess i don’t exist then’ or ‘i didn’t know i was imaginary’ or some bullshit…. stfu.

This is a useful and perfectly logical response, though? It’s a good way to shut people up when they’re being mean about your self-defined fluid identity. I’ve used this a few times for getting into a target’s home, for example when I was hired to take out an oligarch at his house:

Me (while identifying as a hot tub repairman): Hello, I’m here to fix the hot tub, please let me come inside.
Target’s butler: But this mansion doesn’t have a hot tub.
Me: Damn it, I thought all oligarchs had hot tubs! Er… Well, I suppose I just don’t exist, then, do I, if I’m not here to fix the hot tub? Hur hur hur.
Butler: Of course you exist…?
Me: Well let me in, then. Unless you’re questioning my identity???
Butler: My apologies, sir, please do come in.
Me: Thank-you, self-crit accepted! (murders the boss, sneaks out the window and flees before butler realises anything is wrong)

a-door-behind-a-door:

down with terfs/rad fems but also down with alt-right; you both are very evil

YASSSS. Down with SKERFs and every kind of exclusionary radical feminists! I’ve been saying this for a long time: feminists who oppose my right to identify as I please and who oppose MY CHOICE to enter a career in the violence industry (along with the CHOICE of all conscripts and child soldiers) are responsible for any and all violence I may face in my working life.

Not literally, I mean, but figuratively. In my career, I’ve been tortured, beaten up and shot, and admittedly it’s been exclusively by assigned-male-at-births. But I suspect the reason AMABs attack me so often is they’ve been listening to feminists too much, in fact I’m sure of it.
Recently, I was stabbed in the thigh by the leader of a Russian neo-Nazi prison gang. I was going to assassinate him, and he took offence and tried to stop me. Where did a cis male neo-Nazi gangster get the idea to commit violence if not from reading Sheila Jeffries?

oh yeah, also down with the far-right themselves, they’re not very nice either, I suppose. They’re very stylish though, I like their scratchy tattoos and unusual haircuts (like my cool patchy style! I can’t get any tattoos though, I’m not supposed to have any identifying marks, being as I am identity-fluid). But yeah, they are very evil, almost as evil as feminists!

Dmitry Svodnik is still a cockwomble

Dmitry: hows it going shitman
Me: Yes, very clever, Dmitry. I’ll have you know I’m enjoying a very relaxing week, thank-you. Guro’s visiting, so I’ve only done two kills this week.
Dmitry: こんばんは加害者-さん
Me: Shut up, you can’t even speak English, you uncultured swine. Anyway, if you suddenly know so much about language, maybe you can tell me why some SKERF on the Internet called me a “tim” today. I saw some fake feminist article about “male violence” or something. If feminism excludes violent males, who’s it even for, I ask you? So I commented saying that, as a violent male of fluid identity, I felt it was cruel to exclude me from feminism just for my male-ness and my violence, and the author replied with some whiny bitchy pre-menstrual nagging rubbish that I admit I didn’t really read, in which she used the term “tim” to describe me (I read the bit about me, natch). What’s that about and should I be offended?
Dmitry: is probably cuz u look like Tim Roth
Me: Fuck off, no I don’t.
Dmitry: u do, in Reservoir Dogs were he is getting shot and crying “aaaaaa” all the time with his floppy hair, is u
Dmitry: big dave call u mister orange loooool
Me: FYI, all the AFABs dig my hair, the missing patches are bang on trend. So your little “polonium poisoning” prank has only made me even cooler and edgier.
Dmitry: anyway i think it mean “trans-identified male” wich u r cuz of ur identity fluid
Me: Oh, right. Fair enough, then.
Me: Really I’d rather they didn’t identify me at all, especially not to the police, but at least they respect my identity.
Me: Well, thank-you Dmitry, now kindly fuck off, I have better things to do than talk to you.
Dmitry: have nice evening gaspar! xD

destinyrush:

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

^^^THIS. I describe myself as genderfluid: that is, my gender identity can change from day to day, depending on the demands of my job.
In order to get close to my targets, I sometimes have to identify as a janitor or a member of household staff, and sometimes I have to steal access cards. It’s much easier to take them from women’s handbags than from men’s suit pockets, and so I regularly have to identify as female. Not by choice, it’s just whomever I happen to bump into who can get me into my target’s safe space.

It is essential to my lifestyle and my career, and assassins have always carried a burden of shame. So if you shame me by screaming, calling the police, or pointing at me and saying “oh look, it’s that creepy bloke I saw knocking out the valet in the underground car park and stealing his badge”, then you are a nasty SKERF piece of shit and feel free to unfollow me and die in a fire!

Actually no, don’t die in a fire. Fire is beautiful, enthralling, arousing and very addictive, and it’s far too good for SKERFs. Unless I can watch.