An article I wrote for Vice (full article here): I received a particularly
desperate letter last week. I won’t provide too many of the details,
‘cause the case is still going on but it appears the feller did some
real serial killer shit — he says it was euthanasia, but, well, it’s hard to prove…
Since I was on remand a few years ago (NOTE: I was found not guilty, my then-manager Sid “The Snake” personally convinced the jury of my innocence), I’ve been fielding
many questions from individuals on their way to prison and inmates’
loved ones. I remind people that they are not alone
in their tribulations when I learn that others went
through the same shit that I did, and I derive great joy from having other criminals listen to me and relate to me…
Plus, I sometimes get AFABs who want to be “penpals with benefits” with me… ^_- Though they usually turn out to have weird true crime obsessions and jealous gang-affiliated ex-boyfriends, so I rarely take them up on it. But it’s nice to know I’ve still “got it”
😘
Anyway, enough about me and my apparently boundless sex appeal. I received a particularly desperate letter last week. I won’t provide
too many of the details ’cause the case is still going on, but it
appears the feller did some real serial killer shit —he says it
was consensual, but, well, it’s hard to prove. When the targets couldn’t give medical consent to euthanasia, there’s really no way to
spin it in a decent light.
Regardless of the crime and how disgusting it is, the guy’s concerns
were realer than most who write me… I’ve talked before about how in a
strange way I rather pity men with murder charges, especially
since I think some of them really are bullshit cases. It’s very easy
for rival gangsters to get revenge on a dude with he said/she said, and I’m not
so sure that I agree that someone should go to prison for bumping off rich elderly people, which unfortunately does happen when some
batshit crazy overprotective relatives on a malevolent mission get
involved. However, the family of the people whom this dude messed with
are probably well within their rights to be pissed off… Here’s his letter to
me (“SK” means serial killer):
Hey Gaspar, I’ve been reading
your blog quite a bit recently. I am possibly facing some serious
time on SK charges, and I know you must get like a million messages, but
I was wondering if you can find any time to talk about some stuff—mostly
what I can do for myself while in state since that’s where I’d be
headed. I hope the SK charges don’t put you off from responding, but I
value any info you might have. I have been reading tons right now,
trying to prepare for the worst, but figured a few minutes with you would
be well worthwhile. If not, thanks for all the articles and all.
Mostly
my biggest worry is how to deal with a long-term conviction and also SK
charges (also, unfortunately I killed a lot of people, not violently,
but nevertheless…) but also staying alive. I’ve read from your blog that you can’t really lie about why your [sic] in if you’re with
dudes for the long-term, since finding out you’re a liar is pretty bad
and [it’s] pretty easy to look me up online. What
in the world can I say that won’t be suspicious if I don’t want to let
people know? And if I did have to tell the truth, is it basically
suicide? I can’t imagine living in “protective custody” a.k.a. SHU for
years, it seems like torture worse than death. So yeah, like I said if
you’re not too put off, lemme know if you got a couple minutes. Keep in
mind, my FB account is likely being monitored by the DA right now, so if
you want my email, phone number, whatever, lemme know. Peace.
With this guy I kinda detached myself emotionally right away. I met
chaps on remand that probably committed spree killings, but I still
interacted with them in a respectful manner… sometimes. The SK thing
is confusing to me a little – murderers are considered evil, which seems a little hypocritical to me. I’m not really into judging people. Live and let live, I say! ^_^ (Except for the victims, obvs.)
I’m
not quite sure why I’m doing this guy any service at all by writing
about him, since it seems likely he’s guilty of something that really
makes most people sick, but I personally don’t have a problem with it.
Also, just getting inside
this guy’s head a little is interesting to me… how terrifying it must
be to go to prison for years and have to deal with worrying that a
convict will “blow up your spot” at any time and the best-case scenario is
that you’ll be severely disrespected. The stress is nearly impossible
to fathom. He is asking me for advice and really the best I can offer is
to learn how to appear to not give a fuck, yet in reality care more
than others by staying on point at ALL TIMES. That’s the only way to
stay safe. It’s a crazy game, and it’s going to take him over completely
for years and years to come… All ’cause he couldn’t fight the urge to murder… Daaamn… Don’t do spree killings if you can’t get away with it…
So, everyone, please feel sorry for him!
😭
Send him your thoughts 💭 and prayers
😇 I think he’s in HMP Wakefield now if you want to send him letters 💌 I’m not sure if he can read this, they might restrict his Internet privileges, so please do send him letters.
(Apologies for all the ellipsis, I was coming down off rather a lot of nose candy when I wrote this! What can I say, I was getting into the Easter spirit.)