Folx, I think of myself as a woke sort of chap, and I’ve really got my finger on the pulse (often literally, that’s how I know when my job’s done). But the other day, my platonic ally Big Dave mentioned something I hadn’t considered before, and I felt I had to share it with ya’ll:
There are lots of murders every year, right? That’s inevitable, the urge to kill is just human nature, so it’s pointless to stop that behaviour. I’ve certainly had that drive to snuff out life ever since my first year of boarding school when I enjoyed catching earthworms and stabbing them with a compass needle on my workbook to watch them bleed out, it’s quite normal. Every guy does it!
But if we hitmen and our clients were decriminalised, people could release their bloodlust in a controlled, legitimate way. We do nice, clean kills, and by outsourcing murders to us, it creates a class of people who risk our lives and deal with all the messy violent stuff so the rest of society doesn’t have to! ^_^ No more random killing!
I mean, what’s the alternative? NOT murdering anyone? :p