Dmitry: hey gaspar
Me: I’m not in the mood for your shit, Dmitry, I’m feeling sad and lonely.
Dmitry: 😦 what matter?
Me: Nobody wants to date an assassin. Women are so oppressive and discriminatory these days! How did you manage to get… whats-her-face, your cover, to marry you? And you look like a turnip with eyes. Why don’t you have this trouble with women?
Dmitry: easy, i not tell them i assassin
Me: Well, you’re utterly reprehensible. That’s not an option for me.
Dmitry: what about madison? she say she likes u
Me: I don’t know who that is.
Dmitry: nice agent lady from american embassy! she been watching u 4 sum time, she think ur cute
Me: What the fuck, Dmitry? I don’t want to date CIA! What’s wrong with you?
Dmitry: why come you won’t date assassin?
Me: Because I don’t want to get murdered, you stupid wankspangle. What if her bosses put me on her hit list?
Dmitry: so you won’t date assassin but women should date assassin like u???
Me: Well, yeah, because they’re not me!
Dmitry: thats not vary nice of u
Me: Stop oppressing me, Dmitry.
Dmitry: ill tell madison u dead
Me: God damn it, Dmitry, faking death is your answer for everything.
Dmitry: it works tho :)))